The international language of George Foreman.

Portuguese is a weird language. Really freakin’ weird. The best description I heard was that it’s like a drunken Irish person speaking Spanish. I can do the drunken Irish person alright if needed, but since I don’t speak Spanish, I thought I’d be SOL. Fortunately, however, it turns out that all those years of French immersion actually were worth it, as I now am proud to say I can actually speak Portuguese. Not well, of course, but enough so that I’m not mistaken for those icky Americans.

Oh yeah, here’s a good joke a Brazilian told me: What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Polylingual. What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual. What do you call someone who speaks one language? American. Hah.

Anyway, my point was that should you choose to visit Brazil without any knowledge of Portuguese, you can rest easy knowing that there is one method of food preparation that you will always be able to describe. If you should ever desire something grilled, simply utter these magic words: George Foreman. Magically, at that moment you will have forged an indelible bond between yourself and your host. EVERY FREAKIN’ person here has one! And the intensity of the competition between the Foreman Grill and knock offs is quite something to behold! You may not get an ounce of recognition for mentioning an American movie star’s name, but watch with amazement the instantaneous excitement created when you utter George Foreman’s name!